I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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