youre lurking in front of me
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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