If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We talked him into tasing himself.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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