whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
