I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You are the jesus of drinking
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
