I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
