We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My nipple is on Facebook.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I am one with the molecules
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
