If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
