Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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