no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
do herpes really smell.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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