She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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