If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
