My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
