You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
