come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
