I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
even my farts smell like vagina
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
