I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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