Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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