she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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