But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize