I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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