I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
