She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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