So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
