So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
