would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
