I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
