just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
