there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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