So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
