Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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