You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
