watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You were trust falling into bushes
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
