ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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