People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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