you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
