I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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