her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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