Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
