too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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