dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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