Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
