I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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