I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize