I don't think brook has ever known best
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
