That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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