Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I intend to get homeless drunk
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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