i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
