he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
