Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
