Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
