So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
