I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
