No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
