So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
