On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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