Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
