Just mADE A PArabola og urine
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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