i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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