You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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