I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
