somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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