Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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